The End

"Now we come to the end of the road... and I can't let go." Closing night was tough. Really tough. We spent the morning at the jade market (cause I just can't get enough) and between shows had a farewell dinner with about ten of my besties. Then during the second show, I just started crying.

Every time I would be onstage I would be thinking that this was the last time this would happen. The music would play and I would feel tears gathering in the corners of my eyes. It was overwhelming. I had to take deep breaths and be careful, because there's no way I can go onstage and perform crying. During the last scene I have to go onstage and comfort the VonTrapp family... convincing them that they just have to have faith and they can make it over the mountain. On this night, the words couldn't be more true. It was true for every one of us on the stage. The fact that we've been on this incredibly long, harrowing, wonderful journey together, and the fact that now we're going back to the real world, facing new and scary things. For the kids, it's being back in school after two years, making new friends and trying to adjust. For the parents, it's being back with their spouses, and their friends, finding happiness in their old lives after living in a shopper's paradise. For most of the techies and musicians it's flying home, re-packing, and joining a new show with new people and new experiences. For most of the actors, it's unemployment.

For me, it's New York. It's seeing my old friends again, and my family, and starting over again. It's being unemployed, and trying to get another acting job, but probably having to to work a million other crappy jobs just to make ends meet. New York is hard for me, and I know that when I move there it is going to be a tough mountain to climb, but it's basically the only way I can choose to get to the place where I want to be. Hopefully the friends I've made on tour, and the experiences I've had will help me along the way. I'm stronger emotionally and physically, and I'm ready to do this. It's just a little hard to say goodbye.

So now, a few hours of packing that I'm sure will turn into a late night (I've already randomly done a tequila shot and had a glass of champagne) and an early morning. But soon, it will all be worth it. I'll be home!!